The great solution!
by tedyvirysa
Summary: Hi everyone, this is my first romance Fan fiction so no FLAMES! Also this will be Bulgaria/Serbia romance story.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia!

Hi everyone, this is my first romance Fan fiction so no FLAMES!

The great solution!

Fighting, yelling and sarcasm were usually the only communication methods that occurred between Bulgaria and Serbia concerning Macedonia. You see, Bulgaria wanted Macedonia back because she was originally part of his territories, that and the fact that both countries have practically the same language. Serbia claimed Macedonia was his since he saved her. And this as you can imagine placed Macedonia in between their tug of war. Now to say that she was mad with them would be the understatement of the year. In the beginning was quite romanting, true, but now was flat out degrading!

In her desperation, Macedonia went to the only person that she knew could give her an advice regarding those two blockheads and this wise or more like insane person was: France. So she went to his house and after walking in, without knocking mind you, she found Francis and yelled at him:

"Hey, you horny bastard give me some advices to get rid of Bulgaria and Serbia and don't you dare grope my ass!"

"Ah, dear Macedonia, you had come ask for my aid, do not worry fear maiden……"

"Cut the crap and start giving ideas! Or else…." After gulping Francis responded:

"Well, I'm not the best at assassination attempts, but had you tried to feed them poison cake, throw them in a lake full of piranhas or even bury them alive somewhere?"

"Well those aren't bad ideas, but they won't work. They have the tendency to work together when there is no other way, that and they are good at sensing danger. That and they will probably craw out with a knife and continue on fighting."

France had to admit that the Macedonian woman was probably right. Bulgaria had the habit of surviving and Russia had the habit of helping him. To make things worse for Macedonia, America had started supporting Bulgaria as well to the point where he made his own military bases there to guard the formal soviet nation. Serbia wasn't going to drop dead either. So he actually put his wine dripping brain and thought of the only kind of solution he could think of, or in other words a very perverted one.

"Why don't you try to get them together?"

Get them together? Macedonia had to admit that, even thou it came from a drunken old pervert, this idea may be a permanent solution to her problems! But there were some small problems. Problem number one: Russia is an overprotective brother who will smite her the second he learns about her plans. Problem number two: America wants to be in a relationship with Bulgaria for years, but didn't have any luck because of Russia stopping him. Problem number three: Bulgaria and Serbia don't like each other very much.

"This is a good solution, but it is never going to work."

"Of course it is going to work, don't be silly!"

"But, it seems impossible!"

"Oh, you mean because of the big overprotective murderous brother and the cowboy lover boy?"

"Well, yes."

"It will be hard, but with the right allies we shall succeed."

And that's how Macedonia and France went on a dangerous quest to gather allies suicidal enough to face against bought a jealous candidate for a boyfriend and an insane brother's wrath just to get Bulgaria and Serbia, not to mention that Rumania will be downright pissed about her chance with Serbia going down the drain.

Finished chapter 1! Please review and make some suggestions for the suicidal allies.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

The great solution

Chapter: 2

While the two suicidal nations are plotting, their targets were having a "chat". Let's have a closer look, shall we? In the right corner we can see Bulgaria showing his middle finger to Serbia, while Serbia, not to be outdone, is cursing the bigger nation. (Yes Bulgaria is bigger than Serbia. I'm not making it up). And you probably want to know what they are saying? Well, fine.

Serbia, if you had paid attention, was the first to "talk", if you are considering a censored worth sentence talking, that is. His words of wisdom were:

"Go to hell, asshole!"

Very wise don't you agree? But do you know which the chosen words of Bulgaria were? No? Well then pass the popcorns and let's listen to their "conversation".

"Bite me, CENSOR!"

"You would like that very much, now wouldn't you?"

"Don't you think you are a little young to make a suggestion like this one?"

"Well you started it"

Unknowingly to the two nations they had company, who exactly. Well no other than America of course! He had come to visit Bulgaria, uninvited mind you. But then again, if he actually ask for promotion Russia will find out and then he will ruin his and Bulgaria-kun's date and Ivan had done this one to many times! So here he, America the hero, was. Hiding in a bush, griping a bouquet in one hand and a box full of candies in the other, watching Serbia and Bulgaria yelling at each other. Stalkers alert anyone? What, no one is merciful enough to call Russia and update him on the current situation? Oh, wait that won't be merciful at all, or at least it won't be merciful for Alfred. Wait my creepy senses are tingling, Russia is coming, better get out and tag along for the recruiting of the suicidal matchmakers!

Time skip: Before 15.

I finally arrived at Macedonia and France's secrete cave thing, or whatever the hell it was in its previous life.

Macedonia's POV:

Francis and I had been "recruiting" nations for hours now and no suitable co-worker amongst them, none! Ok, Turkey and Hungary are kind of worthy, but Poland was doing nothing but yell for them to get him out of his chains, or he'll attack us with his pink pony army. Who the hell would be so insane to threaten people with something so hilarious? Roderich isn't very enthusiastic either, but good thing we got Prussia to help us convincing him, by threatening to size his vital regions, perverted, true, but it worked. We even had some problems in the form of Belarus snooping around. Not good, but the results are worth it! And according to my intelligence department, namely Turkey and Hungary, America is trying to ask Alexander (Meny think that Bulgaria is named Alexander Vulgaria, but I don't like this name, because it brings bad name to us Bulgarians. Unfortunately there is no other name, so I will have to use this one) out again. We must act quickly, now if I were the sadist I am what would have I done in this situation? Call Russia of course!

Narrator speaking:

And this is how America and Russia ended up fighting in the bushes, unnoted by the yelling duo.

Wow, the chap is finish! Please review and tell me what you think of it.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. Sorry for not updating for so long everyone. I want to thank to XbehindtheseaX for being my beta reader and to all those people who had written my story! You are all great.

The Great Solution

Chapter: 3

To Prussia, the idea of stalking America was…for lack of better words: ridiculous. Why? you ask. Well, because the blonde was currently stopped from buying flowers by his worst nightmare. I'll give you three hints:

1. They always move in packs.

2. They always hunt in packs.

3. Their battle cry is, I quote: "I LOVE YOU."

You guess right, fan girls. To say that they outnumbered the poor pacific nation would be a given. So why hasn't Gilbert laughed loudly, then? Simple; because he could recognize some of the she-demons as spies from his own fan club. And if even one of them found out he was there; she will tell the others and then he might as well jump in his car then speed off and hope that they haven't barricaded the rods.

_Elsewhere_

The German speaking countries and Italy were staring at the door too. Said door was actually the door to Belarus's house, but those are just little details. After just one knock Belarus came and opened the door, and there were three things with the picture that made Italy hide behind Germany.

1. Natalia's dress was covered in blood.

2. Said creepy person was also smiling creepily.

3. And last but not least, she was holding a dead chicken in one hand and a bloody knife in the other.

All in all, the Belarusian was a creepy sight to behold. After she watching them a little, she let them in.

"Welcome! I was just preparing dinner. Make yourself at home."

"Um, Belarus. You see, we've just...." Germany began.

"SIT, NOW."

After Natalia went in the kitchen to continue butchering the poor chicken, the other nations were afraid, very afraid. They -to their utter horror- found that the door was locked. A few minutes later Natalia came back with a cheerful expression and a cooked chicken.

"So, friends, what have you come here to tell me?"

There was an uncomfortable silence until Vash started talking.

"Well, you see Natalia, we've come here to ask you if can join us in bringing Bulgaria and Serbia together."

"Older brother Bulgaria? You do realize that this is impossible, right? Firstly: Big brother Russia won't approve of it. Secondly: aren't Bulgaria and Serbia currently bickering about Macedonia? And thirdly: isn't America trying to get Bulgaria to date him? And even if by some miracle you _do_ get Bulgaria and Serbia to start liking each other, you will still have Romania to deal with. And what gave you the idea that Aleksander will listen to me?"

She had a point. Maybe Aleksander would listen to Ivan, but they doubted he would listen to Belarus. Still, she _was_ the guy's sister. If anyone (Russia not included) could make a couple out of the yelling duo, this should be her.

"...Because, you are his sister? Also because you will do your best, stimulated by those pictures of Ivan we will give you?"

"Pictures of Ivan?"

"Yes we will give you 20 now and the remaining 100 when Bulgaria and Serbia become an item."

"I'm in!"

After a rather calm diner, the German nations and Italy left unaware of the monster they had just created.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

The Great Solution

After the match makers got Belarus on their side, they started feeling sorry for Aleksander. The poor guy wouldn't know what hit him. Natalia was already planning a threatening speech to tell her brother when they met next. Poor Prussia, who had just had returned alive and mentally dead from the attack the fan girls had launched at him, was now Natalia's practice dummy. To say that he was terrified and crying for his brother to save him was an understatement. After Macedonia was happy enough with Belarus's horror display she decided to finally put the creepy girl's twisted mind to work…or in other words; it was time to visit Bulgaria.

Meanwhile, Aleksander was talking to Romania about the weather. It was quite strange and snowy and here he thought that spring had finally come. Oh well, he might as well wait for it a little more while he was at it. While they were complaining about the snow and how General Winter was being extremely harsh on them this year they failed to notice how Natalia snuck behind Aleksander and yelled one word rather creepily. And yes, this word _was_ "brother."

Now, normally Bulgaria didn't fear Belarus, but she was using the same voice she usually used when she was bugging Ivan to marry her. If she wanted to marry him then he will build a wall across his boarders and never come out. He looked down at her, only to see her glaring at Romania. Oh God, no! He was too young to be stalked by Natalia! Alright, he was older than her but he still didn't wanted to be stalked by his mentally unstable sister. Said sister was dragging him somewhere, talking all the while.

"So brother, I heard that Ivan has been coming for sleepovers to your house quite a lot lately. Care to explain?"

Oh, so she was actually mad that he had been protecting Vanya from her and now he will probably be killed with a rusty spoon. Why did he have to get the most homicidal siblings of all? He had done nothing to disserve this! He and Byzantine had quite a lot of battles but she started it, he had wanted to be friends, he even protected her from the Arabs when they were trying to take down Constantinople. And now she was probably having the time of her life -or death- watching him being threatened by the sister he thought how to write and read, gave Christianity to, and taught her how to throw knifes. Now that he thought about it that wasn't one of his brightest ideas, but the kid was defenseless back then and he was about to venture to Europe with his big sister the Hun Khaganate and he couldn't just leave her like that. What are big bros for anyway? He watched her wary and just kept silent. She knew he was against incest.

"Anyway, that's not important right now. I haven't seen you in quite a while brother, why do you visit Katayusha from time to time and Ivan constantly but you have been ignoring me? Why, brother?"

He sighed. He _had_ been ignoring her, but then again he did disapprove of her actions concerning Russia.

"I've been quite busy with my people and now this weather, but I'm sorry for neglecting you."

"It's fine, brother. Now that you have time can we go hiking in the Rila mountain like we used to?"

"Like we used to? But I took you to that mountain only once before?"

"Let's make it a tradition, then."

Aleksander gulped; images of him dying in a cave or drowning in Iskar flashed through his mind.

"Let's go when spring comes, right now you should go home."

Belarus frowned. Her brother wasn't escaping her easily; she tightened her grip on Aleksander's arm and was about to say something when the second target of their little group appeared. Serbia sent them a glance, snorted and went away or at least tried to because Bulgaria was already yelling at him to get out from his territories or he'll sue him. The Serbian tiredly slumped his shoulders and retreated to his own borders. This action left Bulgaria confused. Serbia never listens to him, ever. And he looked so miserable too, was it because of those reports that were in the newspapers recently, about him not being liked? Well, he had it coming when he tried to steal his Macedonia from him.

Belarus watched her brother during the entire shopping trip she had forced him to take her on. He was thoughtful and wasn't paying attention on how much he spent for the things she wanted. Well, this certainly was something new.

Meanwhile the Serbian walked away and muttered curses all the while. He remembered a time when Kosovo and he would go on a brother-sister shopping trip Strange though, he thought that all of Bulgaria's siblings were afraid of the youngest one and here Aleksander was on a shopping trip with a family member instead of in his beloved rose valley or in one of his mountains, hiking. Then again, it was winter, a pretty cold one too, so he guessed that the brunette couldn't exactly go to his usual hideouts to get America out of his tail, but who in their mind will stalk him when he was with Belarus of all people? Jovan (This is a Serbian name, and the name of one of their past emperors) sight, friendly but frowning Aleksander never gave him a chance. There was that short period but other than that he felt as if he was being used as a replacement for Byzantine. Those two used to always fight and hurt each other and now that the Roman heiress was dead and he could see that Aleksander was bitter, but then again he always was. He remembered a time when Aleks wasn't as half as angry. Why was he so closed up anyway? So, Byzantine and Rome had shot down his friendship, but Germania hadn't and neither has Germany…although it was kind of mean of Prussia to attack him with his knights, but the albino had lost so no harm done. Besides, they were now getting along just fine. So why hadn't Bulgaria even tried to befriend him? Was it because the Macedonia's mess? He really wanted to be friends and have the permission to come and chat from time to time. After all, if there were people who could help him get out of his depression then Bulgaria had to have some useful advises. But no, the stubborn Bulgarian never forgets or forgives. Unknowingly to the sulking nation he was being glared at by a very angry American, who had just gone out of hiding. If someone could see the expression on the blonde's face then they would have had ran away, as luck would have it Serbia didn't know so he had no idea of the danger he was in.

**History note:**

1. Bulgaria claims Macedonia is his sister because of Khan Kuber. Khan Kuber (or Kouver) was a Bulgar leader, probably brother of Khan Asparukh and member of the Dulo clan, who according to the Miracles of St Demetrius, in the 670s was the leader of a mixed Christian population of Bulgars, 'Romans', Slavs and Germanic people that had been transferred to the Srem region in Pannonia by the Avars 60 years earlier. The _Miracles of St Demetrius_ states that, circa 680 AD, Kuber had a falling out with the Avar khagan, and after repelling an Avar attack, led his followers of around 70,000 people, from Srem and to Macedonia. The Byzantines initially called his people _Sermisianoi_ (after their former settlement - Sirmium), and later the _Keramisians_ (after their new place: the Keramissian plain in Greater Macedonia).In Macedonia, they had contacts and possibly mixed with the _Dragovites_ - a Slavic tribe in the region. Some of his people wanted to disperse to their respective various homelands. Since they were Christians, they were probably once imperial subjects that were captured by the Avars. Kuber asked the Byzantine Emperor Constantine IV to not allow the dispersal of his people, fearing that his power will decline. Rebuffed by the Emperor, he resolved to attack Thessaloniki, but failed. He probably made a few other sporadic attacks on the Byzantines. Professor Vasil Zlatarski, a Bulgarian scholar, suggests that Kuber was the 'unnamed son' of Great Kubrat. Certainly, being a prominent prince would explain why the Avars gave him rule, and his appearance in 670 chronologically fits the downfall of Old Bulgaria. He also suggests that Kuber's people represented a second Balkan Bulgar 'state' in Macedonia, parallel to that of his brother's Asparukh realm in the north-eastern Balkans. Whether he had established a state of sorts or not, nothing is mentioned of Kuber after the 680s, but in the beginning of the 8th century Asparukh's son, Tervel, is said to have cooperated with "his uncles" from Macedonia. His people were probably absorbed into the Slavs living in the area, well before Khan Presian expanded his Bulgarian Empire into Macedonia in the early 800s. The prominent archaeologist from Republic of Macedonia Ivan Mikulčić revealed the presence not only of the Kuber group, but an entire Bulgar archaeological culture throughout Macedonia and eastern Albania. He describes the traces of Bulgars in this region, which consist of typical fortresses, burials, various products of metallurgy and pottery (including treasure with supposed Bulgar origin or ownership), lead seals, minted from Kuber, amulets, etc. However, part of this could actually represent traces of Avar presence. They are known to have raided as far south as Macedonia, and the material culture of the Avars was very similar to the Bulgars. (Yes I did get all this from Wikipedia)

2. Yes Bulgaria did protected Byzantine from the Arabs, I don't know much about this battle but from my history book says it was a bloody battle and the Arabs were more afraid from the Bulgars than the trapped Byzantians. After that Bulgaria became a "protector" from the Arabs and he was really successful in keeping them in Asia too, if only Byzantine hadn't backstabbed him he would have continued his "guard duty".

3. Germania really used to be Bulgaria's friend at one point of time. Germania was the first nation Aleksander asked for help when he got under Byzantine's rule. Aleksander even wanted Germania's help in getting Christianity, but Byzantine butted in and stopped him from getting Germania's help and gave him Christianity herself. What she didn't gave him was independent church so Aleksander went and asked HRE for an independent church and when Bulgaria became too brotherly towards the kid Byzantine compromised yet again just to have Aleksander back. Possessive-jealous-confused girlfriend wana-be, anyone?

4. Prussia did attack Aleksander and many others while he was still a Crusader knight. On April 14, 1205 consists the Battle of Adrianople, one of the greatest and most important Bulgarian battle in which King Kaloyan defeated the Crusaders. The battle began with a wild attack. The Kumans immediately show seeming escape. Part of the knights rushed to prosecute them and others after them, including Emperor Baldwin. So the Kumans take them to where the others lie in ambush waiting for the main part of the Bulgarian army. The "Invincible" Western knights were completely routed, and the emperor himself fell into captivity. He was taken to Tarnovo, where he becomes prisoner in the so-called. Baldwin Tower in Tsarevets till the end of his days, when the Bulgars kicked him from the so-called cast "Skull rock" into the abyss.

**Ok people review and tell me what you think of the chapter. Also can any of you make a suggestion about Serbia's family name? Review and tell me if you want see Germany in the next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia!

The Great Solution

Chapter: 5

Bulgaria woke up only to see Belarus hanging above him, with a plate full of pancakes in one hand and a glass of cacao in the other and of course the normal creepy smile that was unique only to his siblings and himself, but only on rare occasions.

"Good morning, brother, what a wonderful morning we are having. I made you some pancakes and cacao so you could have a braid and nice day. Hurry up brother and eat your breakfast. I saw that there is no snow in your territories any longer, so now we can go hiking, da?"

Aleksander eyed the pancakes suspisualy. They may be poisoned and the cacao's innocence didn't really look convincing either. Then there was the matter of the maniacal glint that had recently made a home in Natalia's eyes. Those things were never a good sign, the brunette could practically feel the upcoming disaster in the smile of his, oh, so loving and caring sister. Strange thou, the disaster had a really nice smell, after much thought he voted in favor of having breakfast. He paled when he saw his sister staring at him with a dreamy look on her face and refusing to leave him alone while he ate. After he ate she told him where his clothes for the day were and skipped out cheerfully. When she was out of the door he breathed out and in to calm himself down. His worst nightmare was coming true, oh the horror. It was probably going to be a repeat of what happened with Byzantine when she would mobilize armies just to break into his territories and force him into a marriage he was too horrified to even consider. He still trembled at remembering how she dragged him out of his fortresses, while he was kicking and screaming, mind you, towards an altar. The sadistic empire would always speak of how great they can be together and, if it wasn't for his bosses and fearless army, he would have ended up married to the blonde psychopath. Although there was this one time when his boss, Simeon, had tried to marry them, before he could run into Sadiq's open arms (Yes he was _that_ desperate) he was put into robes and dragged by a cackling Byzantine towards a church. He had tried everything to escape, from latching to different buildings and screaming for help to digging his nails into the soil and refusing to move. The evil demoness had made Francis help her drag him and then she even talked Prussia into helping as well. He was sure he was a goner but then they neared Imperatriz Zoia and he flat out puked at her feed. She was so outraged that called off the marriage much to Byzantines rage and his joy. What was with blondes and stalking anyway, huh? His father Kiev Russ had stalked his mother, Francis stalked everything that moved, Byzantine had stalked him and now bought America and Belarus were stalking him. When will he ever be free? After he finished sulking, and dressing, he came down the stairs, only to be welcomed with a bear hug by his cheerful sister.

"Brother, you sure toke your sweat time, by the way you have visitors."

Now normally Aleksander wouldn't skip with joy and great his "friends" in such a cheerful manner, especially since Turkey was one of them, but desperate measures were needed since he was sure that Belarus was definitely stalking him now.

"Hey guys, how have you been?"

They all watched the cheerful man with astonishment. The plan had worked, Bulgaria was now so panicked that he was practically begging them for help. He was too cheerful to Austria, Germany, Turkey and Italy, this was almost too easy. Turkey was the one to begin the second phase of their plan.

"Well I've seen better days and if you stop demanding a compensation for the Balkan war I will be in a better condition but for now, my economy is pretty bad."

"Ah, bad to hear, but I still want compensation"

"I figured that you'll say something like that, but I still had to try to talk you out of it."

"Ve, Bulgaria we were going hiking and because we haven't seen you in a while we decided to hike in your territories. Can you come with us? It will be fun, I promise! There will be lots of yummy pasta. What do you say?"

Aleksander just laughed, live it to Feliciano to act all cute and convincing, but he still remembered Sadiq's perverted ways. He was just about to shot down their offer when Austria spoke.

"If you don't like pasta, there are many other foods that we brought for the occasion with us, so we can all have a picnic in a meadow of some sort. I can assure you that it will be worth your time."

Aleksander started to look at them suspiciously. Picnic, with them? He was surprised to say the least. This was definitely Italy's idea. Germany's words just proved him right.

"It will be a great exercise and a chance to catch up. You know since we are old war buddies and all. Besides this means a lot to Italy, so will you come?" To which Turkey added:

"Ya, don't you feel bad in your house all day long. Go hiking with us and get some fresh air into those lungs of yours. Or would you rather stay with your sister the entire day?"

Aleksander couldn't believe his luck! They had heard of his misfortune and were here to help him. He now took back all the bad words he had ever said about them; they were the best friends ever.

"So where do you guys want to go?"

The other nations exchanged glances. If the plan went wrong then Bulgaria was probably going to poison their water supplies or curse them into oblivion, but that was definitely better that the rusty spoon castration that Macedonia promised as a "reward" for their failure. Germany was the one who made a suggestion that they should go to Chiprovtsi. Thankfully Bulgaria hadn't asked questions and just went to prepare his hiking gear only to see that Natalia had already made it for him. He took it and practically ran away from his house and to Chiprovtsi, followed by his "friends". When he entered it he saw Serbia in full hiking gear waiting. Jovan was scowling but wasn't doing anything to start a fight. But of course Bulgaria did yelled, quite loudly too.

"WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?"

Germany was yet again the peacemaker of the group. (Ironic, don't you agree?)

"Calm down Bulgaria, we invited him."

"WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT?"

"Because he is an old war buddy as well, that's why."

"Well fine, but if he stab us in the back, I've warned you."

Jovan just glared at him and asked where they are going exactly. The answer was the local forest. But the second they entered the forest Serbia and Bulgaria were knocked unconscious by Turkey and Germany. Now they just had to wait for Macedonia to appear for the third phase of the plan.

Meanwhile America was searching desperately for Aleksander. He couldn't find him anywhere. He was _this_ close to asking the FBI to search for the brunette. The strange thing was that what he found in Bulgaria's house was a hipper Belarus drooling over Russia's photos. This was weird to say the least and since she didn't notice him he felt no need to alert her of his presence. He even saw Ivan searching for Aleksander, strange; he thought that the communist knew where his older brother was at every time of the day. He, America, the hero had to find the missing nation at all cost! In his mind America thought of the perfect plan: He would thing of all the suspicious people that Aleksander had conversations with, him, Ivan and Belarus not included for different reasons, and then he will force them to tell him where Aleks is. Then he remembered the way Serbia had stared at Aleksander for five minutes until the Bulgarian had spotted him and drove him away. Cvijić [Tsvejuh] (the last name of a famous Serbian geographer and now the last name of Serbia as well) was so getting a beating if he had done something to _his _Aleks.

Russia was nearly ready to start WW3 by the time he found out that no one knew were his brother was. How could have this happened? His brother would never leave without leaving a note and then there was the fact that Belarus was in Aleksander's house there was no telling of what could have she done. He would have asked her himself if it wasn't for the fact that she was talking to his photo. That really scared him and he had to retreat. Who would want to kidnap his brother anyway? He had done nothing to deserve this. Ok, he had and probably still wanted to take over the world but lately he had been all talk and no action. They had nothing to worry about, or at least he hoped so. The weirdest thing was Macedonia's behavior, which was an exact replica of Belarus's "Hunting-Ivan-so-we-can-get-married" mood. He didn't know just what was happening right now but he was going to solve his brother's disappearance even if he had to live a bloody path in his wake to do it.

Somewhere in the Amazon rainforest

The partners in crime had dumped the two nations in the middle of the nowhere and had left them all the food they had brought for the hiking trip. When this was done they went back to their Helicopter only to find it surrounded by Amazon women, who attacked them upon sight. Ah, good old divine punishment had done its job once again.

Away from the noise and yells, or in Turkey's case thanks and praises to his God, the two rival nations had finally woken up. When they saw that they were sleeping next to each other the screaming and searching for alcohol began. When they didn't found the think that could at least numb the horror they settled for just backing away from each other and breathing like they had just ran a marathon. Throe frantic breaths Serbia finally spoke:

"I won't ever tell about this if you don't either."

He was answered by a equally horror stroked nation.

"Fine, but if this becomes general knowledge I will declare you war!"

The respond that the Bulgarian got was a snort and a cocky:

"I do believe that the nightmares will be enough, the last thing I need is to become the laughing stock of the century."

Glad that he got at least a passable response the Bulgarian started talking once more.

"Well now that we had reached an agreement, we can see to a different important matter, such us, where the hell are we?"

The other brunette scanned his surroundings and was now as panicked as Aleksander. There were exotic trees and well some strange animals too, but other than that he didn't had the faintness clue.

"Those CENSOR knocked us out and then CENSOR left us in the middle of nowhere! When I return home I'm going to declare them war"

The Serbian's rant was interrupted by a snort. That caused a chain reaction and before they knew it the two nations were yelling at each other once more. By the time that they had calmed down they already had sore troughs.

Between coughs Bulgaria said:

"I cough; think you are just talk and no action now."

And he was responded with a remarkably witty sentence.

"Oh, shut up... old man!"

"I am not much older than you Serbia. According to historians we were found in 630 BC."

Serbia sighted.

"Ya, well we both know that we are born long before that."

There was a long period of time that passed in silence until Serbia broke it.

"We used to be empires Aleksander and look at us now, in the middle of nowhere musing on our age. Seriously what happened to us?"

The Bulgarian answered with a sorrowful expression.

"Byzantine happened, then we fought against each other and everything completely went downhill after Turkey conquered us."

"Ya, you're right but he used to call himself Ottoman Empire, didn't he?"

"Yes."

Then it was Serbia's turn to be all nostalgic.

"Do you think that if we had united we would have still been empires?"

A long and heavy silence fallowed and then Aleksander answered.

"Probably not, but at the very least we wouldn't have been turned into slaves by Sadiq."

The two nations didn't register the fact that they had moved closer to each other so they can watch the night sky (Yes they yelled for that long) nor did they care about sleeping under the same blanket, all they cared about was the peace that had washed over them.

History notes.

1. Yes Bulgaria and Byzantine almost got married in 913, because Simeon wanted to give Aleksander Byzantine's tron and status as symbol of Christianity so Simeon can rule over all Christians. His plan failed thanks to Imperatriz Zoia and Simeon thanked her by mercilessly crashed the army she created out of her own people, Pechenegs, Madchars and Serbs near river Aheloi (Oblast Burgas) in 20.08.917.

2. You may wonder why Turkey isn't exactly Bulgaria's best pal. Well the reason for this is because Turkey got Bulgaria under his rule for 500 and a little more year.

(pronounced [ˈtʃiproft͡si]) is a small town and municipality in northwestern Bulgaria, administratively part of Montana Province. It lies on the shores of the river Ogosta in the western Balkan Mountains, very close to the Bulgarian-Serbian border. A town of about 2,000 inhabitants, Chiprovtsi is the administrative centre of a municipality that also covers nine nearby villages.

Chiprovtsi is thought to have been founded in the Late Middle Ages as a mining and metalsmithing centre. Attracting German ore miners who introduced Roman Catholicism to the area, the town grew in importance as a cultural, economic and religious centre of the Bulgarian Catholics and the entire Bulgarian northwest during the first few centuries of Ottoman rule. The apogee of this upsurge was the anti-Ottoman Chiprovtsi Uprising of 1688. After the suppression of the uprising, some of the town's population fled to Habsburg-ruled lands; those unable to flee were killed or enslaved by the Ottomans.

Deserted for about 30 years, the town was repopulated by Eastern Orthodox Bulgarians, beginning in the 1720s. It was following this new settlement that Chiprovtsi became a major centre of the Bulgarian carpet industry. Other traditional industries have been stock breeding, agriculture and fur trade. Today, Chiprovtsi municipality experiences a declining population and above-average unemployment. However, large-scale investment in the extraction of the local fluorite deposits and the development of alternative tourism help to sustain the economy.

4. I used the Amazon rainforest as the place they got dumped because my geography teacher always used to say that it is practically impossible to get out of it and I do like proving people wrong, so that's that.

5. Yes Bulgaria used to be an empire, twice, actually. He also used to be the main force in the Hun Khagan, who sucpisually started losing without Bulgaria on his side.

6. Old Great Bulgaria was found around 630.

**Well that's that! Also Byzantine and Germania will make an appearance in the next chapter so review. Also, before you ask, yes I am a Bulgarian and proud to be one! **


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

The Great Solution

Chapter: 6

The morning after Bulgaria woke up he see that Serbia had gone from using his hands as a pillow to using Aleksander's chest as a pillow and hugging him with a death grip. Well this was odd, who to know that Jovan liked clinching to things in his sleep. The peaceful and calm expression on the Serb's face almost stopped him from waking him up, almost. The second his hand touched Serbia's shoulders it was immediately held hostage. Okay, so Jovan was as grapy as Byzantine. This wasn't good, if he remembered correctly she would always grip anything that moved near her. He decided to test his theory by moving his legs around and trying to stand up. Serbia's legs were immediately wrapped around his own and the Serbian moved atop him so any movements can be stopped. Great, now he wasn't merely a pillow, he was a bed too. He looked around for anything that can help him get out, but unfortunately there was nothing. The expressions in the Serbians face changed to those of fear and panic and his grip tighten. So Jovan was having a nightmare and was using him as a comforter of some sort. Well, Aleksander mused, I do have one free hand I might as well use it to calm him down. Without thinking on his action he began playing with the Serbians hair.

Jovan was having a horrible nightmare, strange thou this nightmare was actually a memory of Byzantine and Bulgaria's failed wedding. The horrible part of his dream was that he, Jovan, was dragged in a similar fashion towards Romania, who was grinning like a maniac. On their way to the altar Aleksander and Jovan had griped onto a column of some sort and weren't letting go, no matter what. He watched the other man's face and felt even more dread coming from him, then Bulgaria smiled and Serbia could feel someone trying to calm him down before he was dragged to the alter and out of his dream.

When the Serbian woke up he was greeted with a smile by a concern looking Aleksander, who for some reason, was still playing with Jovan's hair. After awhile of just sitting there and doing nothing Bulgaria finally decided to make his discomfort known.

"You may be comfortable right now, but I don't like it when I'm used for a bed."

At first Jovan didn't do anything, but then he laid his head on Aleksander chest and refused to move. With a sleepy expression he muttered that he was still tired. Bulgaria stared at his formal enemy with disbelieve. The Hell? Did he see right? This was as unbelievable as Poland being strait! Did Serbia realized in what position they were?

"No seriously Serbia, get off me!"

Jovan just shook his head "No" and snuggled closer.

"They drugged you didn't they?"

"No, you're comfy~."

"And you are drugged! Get off me, I'm hungry and need some breakfast!"

"What about me?" Whined Serbia.

"Make your own damn breakfast!"

The Serbian looked at him innocently and said:

"Why can't I have you for breakfast?"

At that Aleksander threw him off and stared at Jovan with horror in his eyes. Until Serbia started laughing, that is.

"Ha ha, you should have seen your expression dude, it was priceless! You totally fell for it and..."

Jovan was interrupted, and knocked insouciance, by the fist of a very angry Bulgarian. Few hours later the Serbian woke up only to see that there was no trace of Aleksander. So he just decided to sulk. Okay the joke was cruel and if someone played it on him they will end up castrated, but still ditching in the middle of nowhere? Why was Aleksander so serious all the time? Before he could sulk more he was knocked out cold once more but this time by cannibals who tied him up and brought him to their camp where a surten brunette was trying to talk his long lost friend out of cannibalism.

"Germania, seriously if you continue like this you will burn in Hell!"

"I know, Aleks, but there is nothing I can do, my people are hungry and food comes rare if at all. Actually now that I think about it they wanted to eat you too and the only reason they hadn't is because I told them you have a disease."

"... Are you serious?"

"Yes I am, oh look, someone brought food!"

The Bulgarian fallowed Germania's gaze and saw, much to his amusement, Serbia being tied up and dragged towards an oven like thing. Jovan, of course, was kicking and screaming for all he was worth. Upon seeing Aleksander he started yelling to him to help him. Said Bulgarian merely snorted and turned his back to him, which was until Cvijić told the cannibals that Aleksander wasn't ill at all. That resulted was Bulgaria being tied up and dragged towards the same oven.

"You just couldn't keep quiet, could you? No you had to yell to them that I'm edible!"

"Well excuse me, but I'm not going to become dinner while you stand behind and turn my death into a joke"

"Well sorry, but that's what you deserve for what you pulled this morning!"

There was some sort of song going on in front of the oven. Strange Serbia thought, he remembered a time when the Germanic tribes were hundred times more civilized than this. Well it was exactly how they said it; no matter how bad you have it, someone has it worst. Then he remembered what Aleksander and he had said about the possibility of alliance last night. He was about to voice his thoughts when he was throwed into something relatively soft. To say that Bulgarian was displeased with the situation even more than he was before was an understatement. The Serbian looked at his fellow nation and giggled.

"Déjà vu, huh?"

"Yes, save for the part when you acted as a complete and utter idiot and tried to rape me!"

Serbia sight, once you insult this guy, it was a pain in the ass to make him forgive you. Expect if you were Russia, then the only thing you had to do was some flattering and not only will you be forgiven but fed with banitsa and yogurt, as well! Life was so unfair. Well he had to pacify him or else they were going to meet each other only as poop.

"Oh, so you will rather become someone's dinner than do something that will ultimately lead to our freedom?"

Bulgaria furred his brows together at his self-proclaimed ally.

"Get off me."

"I can't, I'm chained to you, remember?"

The Bulgarian started looking positively angry by this point.

"Look, Jovan I've spend the entire time you used to rant to untie us, so get off me!"

Jovan looked at his feed and saw that they were indeed unchained. How did Aleksander pulled that out? He had counted at least five locks!

"Before you ask I used to break myself out of prison, every time Byzantine actually caught me, so picking locks has become a chore by now. Will you get off now, I saw a horse and our belongings near the gate."

The Serbian got off Aleksander and started fighting off the cannibals while the Bulgarian took a sword from one of the cannibals and started cutting throe them just like he used to cut throe the armies that stood in his way during his empire days. When he got the horse and the provisions he returned for Serbia and escaped with him and into the woods. But of course Jovan had to criticize him once more.

"Are you mad? You are making the hoarse reach its limits with no apparent reason. We aren't chased, dude, so why don't you slow down a little?"

"Limit, this is as slow as I had ever reddened a hoarse in my entire life! Stop whining!"

"Slow, you call this slow? I almost fell off because of your recklessness!"

"Well then hold on tidier!"

Serbia looked at Aleksander's back with disbelieve. Hold tidier? There was nothing else to hold on besides...the maniacal git! So he hugged the other nation and didn't utter a word until Aleksander finally decided to stop for rest. With a tired groan Serbia all but fell from the horse who was being petted by a strangely joyful Bulgarian.

"Remind me to never accept a car drive from you, Aleksander, ever!"

"Stop you're bitching, I told you to hold tide on and you apparently did. What did you held onto anyway?"

It was Jovan's turn to smirk.

"I hugged you from behind; you didn't even notice did you?"

Bulgaria just stared at him for some time and then came to a conclusion:

"You are still drugged, aren't you?"  
The Serbian responded with a silly grin and, much to Aleksander's growing horror, he jumped like a rabid all the way towards an old looking tree. Oh, God what had he done to deserve this?...On a second though don't answer that. But still this was monstrosity; he had churches and had stopped trying to take over the world long ago, why couldn't God forgive him already! The sad thing about the situation was that he had a feeling that this was just a little portion of the major payback he deserved. If he knew that being an empire and moving into Europe would do this to him, he would have stayed in Asia! He sight and went to prepare food. No way in Hell will he ever trust a delusional Serbian with his lunch!

Jovan watched him for a while and then sat beside him.

"So, what are you cooking?"

"Food, obviously."

"But what exactly?"

"Pasta."

Jovan looked at him suspiciously. He really didn't felt like cooking but Aleksander was putting quite a lot of spices, meat, vegetables and even fruits. Finally he asked him if he even knew what he was doing only to be responded with a glare. After few hours of cooking, and random questions, the Pasta was finally ready. The Bulgarian divided the food into two portions, put the souse which by now looked like a side dish and started eating. After they ate in silence they started planning a way to get out of the jungle. That's how Jovan found himself behind the maniac once more while said maniac made the hoarse reach its speed limits once more.

In the Amazons camp

Now you may think that it is every man's dream to get captured by amazons, especially if they want to use said men for breading and you are right. Even thou this was the case for the conspirators who dumped Serbia and Bulgaria in the middle of nowhere they were not happy. Why, because instead of being married to beauties they were married to old women that didn't had teeths in their mouths. The only nation that was spared was Italy because the younger amazons considered him cute. Who might be the cruel leader of the amazons you might ask, well no other than Byzantine! Upon finding out about the poor nations plan to marry _her_ Aleksander to **Serbia** she became enraged and called a search for _her_ Aleksander-kins. Finally they were going to be married and he wouldn't be able to escape her _this time_. But in the mean time she just had to settle for spoiling Italy rotten.

Culture notes:

1. Bulgarians are portrayed as reckless drivers, and for once I agree.

2. Banitsa and Yogurt are traditional Bulgarian foods.

3. We Bulgarians are very welcoming people and have a tradition to go visiting relatives and friends on the holidays or whatever we fell like it, that's why Aleksander hadn't showed much discomfort of having Belarus in his house.

4. We Bulgarians like cooking with a lot of spices, vegetables and fruits so the taste and smell of the dish can be felt easily.

**Well end of yet again another chapter, hope you enjoy it and don't forget to review! Oh, and if you people have some free time could write a Bulgaria pairing fanfiction? I could help you with Bulgarian history and culture facts if you like. **


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

The Great Solution

Chapter: 7

First day in the Amazon's camp:

After the three tortured nations were able to crawl out of their wives huts and to a cave they emidiatly started planning their escape. Turkey suggested that they should just run, but his suggestion was shot down for the simplest reason that they were in an Amazon forest so even if they did escaped they would still be in a bad situation. The strange think was that during the entire planning Austria just looked at his hands with a miserable expression that could be found only on the faces of people that had survived a car crash; only to be chased by a pack of wolfs, and when they lose the wolfs they start celebrating, only to dump into a beehive and find out that there is no lake in sight. Yes he did get a very old and horny woman for a wife. The thing is that while she was doing to him what she considered foreplay, he was doing what he thought was the right thing to do: scream as much as your lungs allow you and then run. Needles to say he couldn't get away. Ah, common sense may have died but divine punishment wasn't giving up without a fight, much to his horror and Bulgaria's joy, or maybe not so much as joy as misery, but those are just details. Before the conspirators could continue planning they were dragged out by their wives and if they had looked back they would have seen a creepy looking divine punishment.

While the other nations were having "fun" Serbia was cursing his luck and a certain nation that he had started to call maniac. Aleksander was a total lunatic! The former empire had tried to jump with the hoarse over a cliff; they had managed it somehow, breaking every gravitation rule. The hoarse on the other hand wasn't as joyful and, fed up with the way it was treated, throwed them out of its back and throwed itself from the cliff they had just jumped over. And if the hoarse was angry in its final minutes then you can imagine the combine rage of the two nations that were now left not only without transport, but with no provisions as well.

After a long period of cursing and shouting they finally calmed down and decided that the best course of action will be finding a livable place to stay for the night. To say that after tripping for the God-knows-which time, Jovan was angry would be a given. After they fought for another hour they finally reached a peaceful looking meadow. The nature there was beautiful; there was a small waterfall and a little pound on the base of it that had cute little fishes. But the two nations didn't exactly took in their surroundings, no, the only thing that passed throe their mind was:

_Food and water, here we come!_

Without even consulting with the other nation Serbia went to the pound and started catching the fish, but not without giving Bulgaria a stick and a demand for the Bulgarian to dig a pit so they can use it to cook the fish. After much grumping and hard work the Bulgarian was finally ready. By the time he was finished thou he was all sweaty and panting.

"Here hope you like this, because, pant, I'm not digging dipper!"

The second the Serbian looked at Aleksander Jovan's brain cells divided into two major armies: the army of pried and the army of hormones. Those two armies were facing off against each other, but in the spam of one second the leader of the army of pried: Common sense was captured by his enemies and executed. The result of this action was a defeat for the army of pried and a very horny Serb, which had his mouth hang open, with a lot of drow coming out of it, a lusty look in his eyes and quite the nosebleed. With no common sense left the Serbian just blinked few times at Bulgaria's concerned face.

"Jovan, are you feeling fine, you are bleeding."

Aleksander started using a wet handkerchief to wipe the blood. Only to have his hand held in a firm hold by Jovan.

"Okay, I won't help you if you don't want me to, you can stop griping my hand."

Instead of freeing his hand he tugged it down and helped Bulgaria to sit on his lab, not letting go of the hand he had captured in the process.

"Jovan, seriously what the hell are you thinking?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Jovan whispered into Aleksander's neck.

"Look Cvijić, I don't know from what exactly you are currently being sick of but I had just about enough of your attempts to get me to be your lover. Seriously, did you honestly believe that I won't notice that I'm being watched in my own house? And that cuddle episode, what are you going to do now that you are in the open? Kiss me?"

"Yes I will."

"What!?"

"I said that I will kiss you and I will do it. Now if you could be a dear and bend your head a little so we can begin the mindless snogging."

Aleksander just looked at him and did nothing. The Serbian fed up with this silence decided to shake him out of it.

"Weren't you supposed to be a playboy of some sort…"

His rant was stopped by a bone crushing hug courtesy of the Bulgarian who had decided to cuddle.

"Jovan, I am a playboy, I can assure you of that, I can also assure you that save for you and few others I had scored everyone else, but do you really want to be my buddy with privileges?"

Aleksander said with his best perverted grin he could master.

Jovan looked at him as if he just said that he was a pirate. This airhead had crossed the line! By the time this Amazon deal is over Bulgaria will either learn to be faithful or he was going to lose his ability to reproduce!

"I don't want to be your buddy with privileges; I want to be your lover, there is a difference."

Bulgaria gulped, great, another Byzantine, just what he needed.

"And yes, Aleksander, by a lover I mean you being just with me and no one else."

"You know, Jovan, I don't think that this is seriously what I want, why don't we just be friends?"

"Well, Aleks, that's too bad because, I'm not asking you if you want to be in a relationship with me or not. I'm going to be your number 1, whatever you like it or not."

"Well what about my buddies with benefits?"

"Ditch them!"

Bulgaria snorted, easy for him to say, he wasn't roped with Iran and America.

"The worst of them are Iran and America."

At that the Serbian found himself speechless, did Bulgaria had a death wish? He was messing around with two enemies, for crying out loud! One that could start a war and enslave his people and the other could completely destroy him with nuclear bombs. The hell was in that head of his, hormones? The sad thing was that this was probably the case.

"I understand about America, but why Iran?"

"Well you see he has a really nice…"

"Enough, I should have expected a perverted answer from you! Wait, why are you so close to my face?"

He got a grin as a response and a "You told me to."

Okay, maybe practically forcing Aleksander into it wasn't such a good idea; the other nation was a complete pervert. He would have responded to the Bulgarian if it wasn't for a shriek that came from an enraged Byzantine. The scream started a chain reaction and Bulgaria emidiatly started running, living Serbia behind, only to be caught and dragged by his wife-wana-be. Serbia didn't go unotest either; he was put into chains and dragged off to the Amazon camp as well.

During the entire dragging, Bulgaria was kicking and screaming. Jovan was surprised to say the least; he had never seen Aleksander so panicked, since, well ever. Serbia gulped; if Byzantine could drag Bulgaria then he will definitely have some competition. But then again he had nothing to worry about, Aleksander had managed to escape from Byzantine all those other times, he could escape again! But back then the Bulgarian had an army and now he was on his own with only Jovan to help him...wow Aleksander really was doomed this time.

Note:

Serbia is shorter than Bulgaria because his territory is 88 361 km2 (113th) 34 116 sq mi and Bulgaria's are 110,993.6 km2 (104th) 42,823 sq mi. 

**Well finished it, don't forget to review. **


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

The Great Solution

Chapter: 8

By the time the dragging stopped and Aleksander was chained to the altar the Bulgarian had tried everything he knew to get himself out of this situation, even proclaiming himself a virgin, but no one believed him. He glared at a smiling Turkey that had his arms outstretched towards him, Aleksander was panicked, but he wasn't that desperate…yet. When Italy reached the final part of the ceremony Bulgaria tried to free himself by chewing at his chains, needless to say his teeth weren't very happy with him after that. Bulgaria had to act fast, so he yelled.

"YOU CAN'T MARRY ME; I'M ALREADY ENGAGED TO SERBIA."

At that everyone in the fake church fell silent, except Byzantine and Serbia, the reason: the first one was yelling and breaking everything in sight, including Bulgaria's chain and the second one was jumping with joy and giving Byzantine the middle finger. Turkey, not to be left outdone, made a mad dash for Bulgaria, who was trying to hightail it out of there. He was a bit too late because Bulgaria had already jumped in a helicopter which was piloted by Estonia, while Ivan was shooting at everyone that came too close. When they were in Russia the helicopter stopped in front of Ivan's house. Aleksander looked confused until his brother turned at him with the most childish smile he had ever used to put him in big brother spoiling mode.

"You will stay here for a while, right старший брат?"

Aw, his brother was so cute!

"Of course, Vanya!"

One month later

Belarus was beyond angry, Big brother Bulgaria hadn't left yet. Okay this was probably her fault for sending pictures of Aleksander while he was having a nap all over the world, but still, he should have left already! He wasn't going to be kicked out by big brother Russia or big sister Ukraine for the simples' reason that Aleksander was spoiling them rotten! It wasn't fair how much time Ivan and Aleksander spend together playing video games, playing pranks and going on hunting trips. Not to mention Ukraine's delight when Bulgaria started helping her with tending to her roses, groceries trips or simply listening to her ramblings about how Russia doesn't like her anymore and offering her some yogurt when things became too teary. Belarus knew that they will rather kick her out of the house than Aleksander-nii. She had to act fast and get him married already! Good thing that she called Macedonia to pick the other nations up; with a determinate face she dialed Macedonia's phone number. Serbia will marry Bulgaria, even if it's the last thing he will ever do!

Macedonia laughed manically after the phone call with Belarus, ah, sibling jealousy, perfect for her plans. Now the only thing she had to do was make Serbia and Bulgaria meet again and she will finally be able to take a shower without those perverts peeking at her. She dilled Jovan's number with a creepy smile, this was definitely going to be a good week. Now that the Serbian agreed with her demands they only had to make some ambush plans, but where to find the plans for Russia's house?

Jovan jumped with joy around his capitol, he and _his_ Bul-kun were going to be married! He had already picked the rings and the honeymoon distention. Now it was only a matter of time for him to charm him and they would be ready to live together! On the way to Russia's house he picked up a bouquet of roses and a box of Bulgaria's favorite chocolates, he was definitely going to make him date him if he was romantic enough! When he neared the Russian's house he started having a bad feeling. According to the other nations that meant only two things: Russia was trying to take over the world again or he was being hunted down by his little sister, Belarus. Well he sure as hell hopped for the latter; he really didn't want to deal with a mentally unstable Ivan. The door was answered by Aleksander who was wearing an apron and having a plate of cookies in one of his hands…WHAT THE HELL? The Bulgarian just glared at him and said:

"My siblings wanted cookies, and no I'm not brainwashed. Stop laughing, damn you!"

Jovan was indeed laughing at Bulgaria's misery, so hard in fact that he was about to pass out, or maybe that was because of the misleaded cookies which Aleksander was aiming at Jovan's windpipe, with the clear intention of choking him. After the murder attempts stopped, Bulgaria sat beside Jovan on the staircase and put his arm over his shoulders, bringing him closer, as if he hadn't tried to kill the other nation just few seconds ago.

"So, bunny-chan, what brings you here?"

Serbia rolled his eyes at that, seriously, bunny-chan, that's the best the other, could come up with?

"Ok, Aleksander, for how long were you refused "war actions"?"

Aleksander just looked at him like a predator that had just cornered his prey.

"More than two months. But now that you came we can have a little "war" of our own, I even know the perfect battlefield. It has a king size bed and not even Belarus can get in. So, what do you say, are you game~?"

Serbia smacked the offending hand of his ass with a shout of "Ever heard about dates?"

Bulgaria just pouted at him and decided to use Serbia's lab as a pillow.

"What do you think you are doing, Aleksander?"

Said Bulgarian just smirked at him and attempted to role on his bellybutton only to be stopped by a blushing Serbia.

"You see Aleksander, I was about to ask you on a date but since you're such a pervert…

Serbia's rant was interrupted by Bulgaria kissing him into speechlessness.

"Ok, bunny-chan.

He said while trailing wet kisses down Serbia's jaw line

We'll go on a date.

That was accompanied by sucking on the others neck

Do you have any destination in mind?"

He said, giving Jovan a small kiss on the cheeks and then backing of.

Upon feeling the lost of contact, Jovan reached for Bulgaria's face, but that only amused Aleksander.

"Aw Jovan-chan, I see you have a little upraising in Belgrade, oh is it my fault? Let _big _bad me help you with _it_."

"Shut up Aleksander and carry me to your room already!"

said a frustrated and panting Jovan

Few hours later Ivan was spotted running away from his house like a madman, while an angry Serbia was yelling at a greening Bulgaria, about "unopenable" doors.

**Yes finished it, Ivan saw too much this time. Muhahaha! Don't forget to review! **


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

The Great Solution

Chapter: 9

America watched the yelling from a nearby bush, so Cvijić was responsible for _his _Aleks's disappearance, Cvijić and Braginski. And he really thought that Russia had no idea of were his brother is. He had definitely underestimated Braginski's acting skills. Alfred looked at the rose bouquet he had brought, according to pervertedness incarnate (France); Bulgaria loved roses, loved them to the point of hysteria. And he had got the best roses he could for Aleksander, only to find him smirking like a cat that just ate the canary at a blushing and yelling Serbia. America knew that Bulgaria was known as one of the worst perverts in Europe, but he had also knew from the war in Irake that he had a gentle and carrying side as well. So Alfred did what everyone else that had the privilege to be shown this rare phenomenon would do; he tried desperately to kip the Bulgarian by his side. He had tried to help him anyway he could, he wanted to protect him, he had already send troops in Aleksander's territories for that purpose alone, he had promised to kip the economy near the bases perfect and he had wanted noting in return for his actions, just to be near one of the few nations that didn't want to kill him. Or, at least that's how it was in the beginning. Somewhere along the way he had seen why Bulgaria was so chased after, the smiles, the carefree behavior, and the perfect manners on a date; not to mention that body. It was only a matter of time before someone like Aleksander got another admirer, and he got one alright, he got him: America the Hero! In the beginning of his affection Alfred tried to discourage himself, the reason he started all this was because he wanted to be Aleksander's friend after all, not lover. And if their relationship fells apart, Bulgaria will eventually fell into either Russia or Iran's clutches, thus becoming his enemy. He knew that the risk was great, but the person he adored so much would be with him in the end, so he guessed it was worth it, even if his actions bring a WW3, he had to be with Aleks! Alfred retreated from behind the bush and out of the house, if old fashion ways don't work, then he just had to start using more strait forward ones.

Bulgaria stared at the entrance of the house, he could have sworn that someone had just exited it, but there was no one other than Serbia and himself in the mansion so that was impossible. Now that he thought about it he really couldn't stay in Ivan's place anymore. He stood up and went in his room, fallowed by a confused Jovan. Serbia snaked his hands around his neck from behind and stared worriedly at Bulgaria.

"Why the serious face, Aleksander, something bothering you?"

Bulgaria surprised Serbia by putting him on his lad and hugging him tightly, while resting his head on top of Jovan's. Then all of a sudden, Aleksander smiled as brightly and deviously as anyone has and hugged Jovan tighter, purple aura coming out of him.

"You know, love, with your actions last night you practically put your head in the lions mouth, or around its vital regions, whatever you like best. The point is that although I am a flirt I do like having a good relationship once in a while and since you had already proposed yourself as a candidate, and you can certainly fit the bill-Aleksander paused to stare at Jovan's behind-and you are a restless thing in bed, I decided that from now on we will be lovers and that you'll be living in my house. And no, you don't have a say in _this_."

Serbia blinked few time and decided to yell Bulgaria's ears off. How could he do this, for a second Jovan thought that Aleksander was going to kill or torture him! Jovan punched Aleksander in the stomach and stomped out, only to see that his pants were waved in front of him by a smirking Bulgaria. He tried to grab it only to have it moved away from him.

"Now, now Serbia, cutest, why don't you give me a kiss in exchange for your pants, I definitely don't mind the view as it is now, but you do~."

Serbia just sight and leaned over only to be surprised by receiving a soft kiss and his pants.

"Now that you have your pants back do you mind dressing up, we are leaving in a bit."

Jovan just blinked at him for a while, Bulgaria was a mystery better left as it is.

After they were dressed and in Bulgaria's Mercedes they were ready to head to the airport. Seriously, everyone thought that Aleksander was in some sort of a crisis and the git had a Mercedes all this time, Jovan stared a little at his now lover and hung his head. Then again Bulgaria never wanted any help from the EU, so he guessed all the things that the others members were spreading about him weren't exactly the truth.

"Nice ride Aleks, but aren't you in a crisis?"

Bulgaria pulled over to stare at Jovan, he blinked few times.

"What crisis?"

Jovan just stared at him.

"The… economical one?"

Bulgaria just laughed at Serbia's silly question.

"Serbia-chan, do you want me to tell you how many countries buy Lactobacillus delbrueckii subsp. Bulgaricus from me?"

Serbia just looked at him as if he was speaking a different language.

"A watty?"

"A special bacteria without which people can't make yogurt. Guess where this bacterium is most widely spread."

"You…, you sell this bacterium, but wasn't it found in other places as well?"

Aleksander smiled.

"That's because I send it there and it didn't die, beside that, do you honestly believe that Sadiq and his siblings will buy yogurt from America when they could buy it from me?"

"But I thought that they could manufacture their own yogurt, Aleksander."

Aleksander smiled and with a smirk started driving again.

"They would have been able to, without me sending them bacterium every year, if they didn't live in such a dusty and hot place."

When they reached the airport and parked the car along with others that were supposed to be transported to Bulgaria. Aleksander lead Jovan to his plane and hoped in the pilot seat.

"Jovan-chan, I'll be piloting, I can't trust anyone with the location of my most secret hiding place, and you can read magazines or something."

Jovan was about to protest when the Bulgarian started the plane.

"I sure do hope your piloting is better than your driving, then, or we are doomed."

After few hours of near crush situations, Bulgaria finally landed his plane in the middle of nowhere…Jovan was about ready to strangle him when Aleksander started looking at a cave.

"Yes Jovan the cave is indeed the entrance to my secrete underground castle, I made it a while ago so I can have a secluded place to live during the summer. No tourist dare tread here because there is no village nearby. Come on lets go in!"

When Jovan didn't, Aleksander returned and stared at Jovan for a while.

"Mm, Jovan, If you are too tired to move I could give you a piggyback ride or just carry you there bridal style, everything for you, bunny."

Aleksander said while hugging Jovan and nuzzling at his neck affectionately.

Jovan smiled and returned the hug, so Aleksander could be nice and cute too. He surely could have liked to see this side of Bulgaria while he was under his rule, but Bulgaria never showed any mercy to his enemies, too bad he didn't either, he could have appreciated a good and carrying friend back then. Apparently, Aleksander took Jovan's silence as a bridal style request and acted according to said request.

"Why are you so quiet all of a sudden Jovan, are you mad at me for calling you a bunny, I'll call you wolf if you want to but…"

His excuses were stopped by Serbia putting a finger on top of his lips.

"Now that you mention it, I do feel tired. Why don't be a gentlemen and carry me to your hideout, and don't you even think of sucking on this finger, I don't want forest "war actions"."

Bulgaria released the finger from his mouth, and with a heavy sigh entered the cave/entrance thingy. After an exhausting walking he reached the garden of his home sweet home. Serbia stared at the garden in awe; it was of course made out of crystal sculptures of plants, for there was no sunlight for the real thing to grow, but it was indeed beautiful, and the entire place was eliminated by thousands upon thousands of fireflies. It was definitely a place in which he could live the rest of his life in. He turned around to watch Bulgaria trying to blow off a pesky firefly that had landed on his nose. This was absolutely adorable! Chuckling, Serbia stepped on his feed and tugged Bulgaria in a random direction, only to be led the opposite way and in front of a mansion. It was a light red one with golden gates and white windows. Aleksander smiled sweetly at his lover and hold his hands for a while.

"So, dearest, what do you say we spend the spring here?"

"Just the spring, Aleksander? Why can't we stay here forever? Isn't that what you want, to be here, that's why you broth me here in the first place, right?"

Bulgaria spined Serbia around before leading him in the mansion, he was glad that bunny-chan liked it, because if bunny-chan hadn't liked it Aleksander would have had no choice but to make arrangements for his boss's funeral.

History notes:

Poor Serbia had few years of freedom in the Dark ages. First he was ruled over by Byzantine, then by Bulgaria and after that by Ottoman Empire sucks to be him.

Notes:

America really did all this stuff, which is weird, because it's so out of character I can't even describe it.

I made Bulgaria creepy in the end, because hey, the guy was an empire twice; do you honestly expect him to be 100% peaceful?

**Review and tell me how has the story been so far.**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

The Great Solution

Chapter: 10

Jovan's POV:

Aleksander started acting strange, he even griped my hand, and it's kind of painful. What is wrong with him now? He isn't even smiling; he is just looking at me as if I betrayed him or something. What is with his coldness all of a sudden? Was it all a lie, no it couldn't be! Bulgaria changed, he isn't murderous anymore, and he is peaceful! He was imagining things; Bulgaria probably had something worrying on his mind and wasn't noticing that he was griping his hand so tightly, that or he was probably bugged by the darkness of this place. Finally he came to a stop and looked at one of the rooms and smiled. His grip lightens as he relaxed.

"Jovan, do you remember that I have a twin brother? Do you remember Volga Bulgaria?"

Normal POV:

He said it with genuine happiness, like a child that was going to show his best friend his most precious thing in the world. Serbia just nodded; he had heard from Ivan that there were more of the Bulgar treasures found in Russia. He had met Volga Bulgaria's sons Chuvashia and Tatarstan when they were visiting their uncle Bulgaria. Jovan really didn't know why Bulgaria would ask about his brother. Hadn't Volga Bulgaria died long time ago? Wasn't Mongol the one that killed him? Bulgaria opened the door and in the room stood an almost identical copy of him.

"Serbia meet my brother Volga Bulgaria, brother meet Serbia, my lover."

The identical copy looked at Jovan and emidiatly hugged him.

"Aw, Aleksander, this one is so cute! And so petite! How do you always get the good looking ones? And he is so huggable, definitely better than that ice cube of a hunk that kept on calling me a heretic! And the best part is that you finally got the guts to ask someone out, instead of just being their friend for a while. And here I thought you'll never grow up!"

Jovan looked at the other Bulgaria for a while. This couldn't be possible; the guy was supposed to be dead! And wasn't he supposed to be more serious, the guy had two grown up sons for crying out loud! Aleksander pried his brother's hands away from Serbia and gave him slap on the back.

"Hey, hands off my bunny-chan!"

Bulgaria and Volga Bulgaria started laughing and joking around. Serbia couldn't believe his eyes; they were both so childish, the worst part was that they were so identical that if it wasn't for the clothes Jovan wouldn't really know who is who. Serbia decided that it was time to ask questions and he would if he wasn't lifted in the air by Bulgaria and given a piggy back ride during the tour of the floor, much to Volga Bulgaria's amusement who after few glares from Jovan decided to retreat to the library. When that happened Bulgaria sprinted in a random direction. Serbia was just about fed up with being constantly carried, why couldn't Bulgaria let him walk?! Jovan's legs were perfectly fine! The Serbian couldn't accept this damn dominance! If Bulgaria refused to acknowledge Serbia's rights than it was up to Jovan to show some resistance, he was Serbia after all, not Italy! Jovan successfully stopped Bulgaria by getting him in a headlock. It wasn't a hurtful one, but then again a fight wasn't what Jovan was aiming for.

"Say, Bulgaria, what do you think you're doing?"

Aleksander smirked and put Jovan down.

"So, bunny-chan, you're finally showing your claws, I like it."

Serbia just gripped the Bulgarian's hands and lead him in the direction of the bathroom. If Bulgaria liked this little show, then he was definitely going to love the next. A dark grin spread on Jovan's face, yes it was time to show some of his craziness as well. Upon reaching the bathroom, Jovan opened the door and without warning throwed Aleksander in the poll. A smiling Bulgaria rose from the water, he tsked when he saw the condition of his clothes, before he was able to get out of the poll, he was pushed right back in and swamped against the poll walls by Jovan who was more than eager to practically drawn his companion.

"Aleksander has anyone ever told you that you shouldn't play with wolfs?"

That was accompanied by Jovan sucking on Bulgaria's neck, lightly baiting it from time to time. Bulgaria kept on smiling and what he did next surprised Jovan. Bulgaria, as perverted as ever, forced Serbia's head closer, thus deepening the bite. Serbia emidiatly pulled back at the taste of blood and stared at the peacefully smiling Bulgarian, who still had one of his hands holding the backside of Jovan's head.

"What is the problem Jovan, I thought you were a big bad wolf who wanted to eat me up, why aren't you biting me harder? Come on do it, I'm even helping you, so what's the problem?"

Jovan shock his head. This wasn't what he had in mind; he just wanted to tease the Bulgarian, not drink his blood!

"What are you doing Bulgaria, I don't want this! I…wait, why are staring at my neck like that? Don't even think about biting me!"

Bulgaria had his trademark predatory grin on.

"Why shouldn't I bunny-chan, you have bitten me, It's only fair that I return the favor, don't you agree. Or perhaps you will reconsider your refusal to bite me?"

Bulgaria said bearing his sharp teeth. Jovan gulped, being bitten would hurt, beside that he knew that Aleksander had no restrain, once he get his jaw around his neck things will get dangerous for Jovan. He really didn't feel like putting Bulgaria to the test in such a lethal way. Serbia lowered his head and started to suck, bite and lick Aleksander's neck again. While he was doing that Bulgaria was playing with his hair. And in the process Jovan forgot he wasn't supposed to drink Bulgaria's blood.

Jovan's POV:

This is great, he isn't doing anything to stop me, he has such a nice scent it is perfectly nice and relaxing. Whatever he is doing to my hair he shouldn't stop. And that blood. I stop sucking at that thought. Oh, shit, I'm sucking his blood, he knows! He is going to send me away now! I… wait a second, why should I let him send me away, it's not my fault, he was the one who offered his neck to me, he has himself to blame! I will continue, he likes it anyway, why should I stop? He is moving and mooning less and less, did I drink too much of his blood? I'll stop now but he should really watch his neck.

Normal POV:

Jovan looked at Bulgaria only to see that the Bulgarian was on the verge of passing out. Before Bulgaria welcomed the darkness he rested his head on Jovan's shoulder and said:

"I know your secret."

Jovan carried his lover to one of the empty rooms and after putting him in a bathrobe laid him down on a bed. So what if Bulgaria knew, it's not like he will get the chance to be with anybody else from now on anyway. Serbia brushed the hair out of Aleksander's face. Everyone could drop dead, but Aleksander was staying with him forever, whatever he liked it or not!

History Notes:

Volga Bulgaria is a medieval Bulgar state founded by Kotrag, Kubrat's son. It was a rich country and for a short period the centre of Isliam. It was destroyed by the Golden Horde. Republics of Tatarstan and Chuvashia are considered to be descendants of Volga Bulgaria.

Notes:

Serbia's national animal is the wolf.

I thought that I could make Serbia a vampire, because vampire=smex

**That's that for now, I'll update as soon as I can. Don't forget to review! **


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